Hi guys! Happy flippin' Monday! ;) So sorry for the late post, but it's been a busy day here at The Korner. I promise subsequent posts will be earlier in the day.
I have decided to join the amazing and awesome Megan at
A Polish Problem in 30 Days of Blue for Autism Awareness. Megan is the mother of 2 amazing kiddos, one of which is Autistic. Being the mother of a child on the Autism Spectrum myself, I immediately gravitated to her and the second I saw this idea, I had to ask if I could join in. Autism Awareness is near and dear to my heart, and is always at the forefront of my life. This is a hard post for me to write, so I ask that you read it, consider it, and maybe take it to heart. There is a mani in this post, it's at the bottom in the hopes that you'll read our story first. If you have posted an Autism Awareness Mani or are participating in 30 Days of Blue, please let me know so I can link to you in my sidebar.
1 in 88 children is born with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Classic Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, PDD-NOS, ODD...All Spectrum Disorders, all different, yet the same. Some children will have one, some will have many. Odds are you know a child with Autism. Please educate yourself. You can find Autism information everywhere by googling, or you can visit
Autism Speaks.
My daughter Kallista is 10 years old, going on 25 (ha ha!). She was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at 5, thanks to a very experienced and wonderful Kindergarten teacher. We had been told several times by several people that something was "wrong" with her, but we didn't know what to look for since we had been taught that Autism meant one thing and one thing only...that kids with Autism can't speak, can't care for themselves etc. How wrong we were. There are so many different disorders on the Autism Spectrum. So many different sets of traits, challenges....it's incredible. And it's incredible just how much people don't know about them.
Over the years Kalli and I have shared many challenges, as well as many triumphs. Every day has its own set of challenges, fears, tears, and joy, and we are always learning. There are days that I jump when the phone rings, fearing that it is the school...again..calling to tell me the Kalli is in the middle of an epic meltdown because some noise set her off, something touched her that she didn't like, or she wasn't able to communicate her needs. When she was in Kindergarten she used to throw herself to the floor and bang her head against it. Now she just yells and cries uncontrollably, and despite having been at this school for 6 years, noone there knows how to handle it. Classic example of people that should be learning about Autism not bothering. She's not their child, why should they, right? Ugh. I hate that answer. All educators schould know about Autism simply because odds are they will have one in their class at some point or another. Kalli is high-functioning, has a genius level IQ, is amazingly creative and is the kindest, most accepting person I know. She is in inclusion classes, meaning that she has Special Ed classes that she attends, but spends most of her time in a regular classroom with all the other kids. Let me tell you, every year I have had to fight with teachers and administration for them to adhere to her IEP, to learn something about Autism so they will understand why she does what she does, and to educate her classmates. It never happens. And it has consequences..Let me tell you a little story.
Kalli is obviously different at first glance. She is very bold and has no internal filter, so she says what she feels. She also has "Stim" behaviors, meaning she will spin, flap her hands, make faces and the like simply because her body tells her that it needs stimulation. She is in constant motion, has trouble concentrating, can't stay organized, and is distracted by loud noises, background conversation, bright lights, and certain textures. She will also blink her eyes excessively, chew on things, sniffle or cough, again in the name of stimulation. She doesn't have tantrums, she has giant meltdowns. We are those parents that people look at in disgust at the grocery store or restaurant. But I'm also that mother that walks up to those people and says "My daughter has Autism, what's your excuse?" (I have a T-shirt that says that).
Having said all that, the kids in her school have never accepted her. They have been told she has Autism, but they haven't been educated about what that means, or taught any sort of tolerance. Because she is so different, she has been bullied and tormented constantly for 6 years. I'm not kidding. Most days she comes home in tears because kids have been so mean to her. I won't go into all 6 years of history, but I will say that this year, 5th grade, it has come to a head. Some kid created a game called "The Kallista Touch", where you can't touch anything Kalli has touched or you will become "retarded and weird like Kallista". I caught some kids doing this to her after school one day and barged into the principal's office, demanding action. They did nothing. I called my school board rep. She took action, but the school still did nothing. And so it got worse. A boy decided to spread rumors about Kalli, and when she asked him to stop, he grabbed her arm and threw her to the ground. A substitute teacher saw this happen, and told Kalli to "stop being dramatic and blow it off". Another little girl wants to fist fight Kallista and "make her bleed" just for being her. When I heard this, I was irate and planned to go to the Principal (again - I've dealt with 4 Principal's in 6 years at this school), but I didn't get a chance. I received a call last Monday afternoon from the Principal. Kalli had been bullied so badly that day that she decided she wanted to kill herself rather than endure the pain of being constantly tormented for being an Aspie. My heart sunk. I panicked, lost it. My baby girl wanted to die because I couldn't protect her, and noone at the school would help her. After 6 years, she hit her breaking point and decided that she wanted to hang herself. My heart broke. I couldn't believe it. We were sent for an Emergency Suicide Risk Assessment. After hours of talking to these people she was deemed a Medium Risk, and is now in counseling. 10 years old. 10! No 10 year old should ever feel this way. Especially because they are different and the people around her just don't know about Autism.
I broke emotionally that day, but I still found the strength to go after that school. I called my APS rep again, and she listened, and cried with me. She took Kalli's issue as high up as she could, and I received calls from the Assistant Superintendant and the head of APS School Police. They sent a uniformed Lieutenant to the school and went after those kids. The school board went after the administration. And after 6 years of fighting for my little girl, things have finally changed. 8 weeks before she leaves to go to middle school. Ugh.
Kalli is feeling better, and we are closer than ever. The school has been forced to set up a safety plan for her, and to address the bullying. Next year she is attending a school with an Autism Specific program and a staunch zero tolerance bullying policy. And they will enforce it, otherwise I am prepared. I now have a direct line to the board, as well as the head of APS Police. I'm prepared. Noone will bully my baby for being who she is. She didn't ask to be born this way, but she was, and she is proud of who she is. And so am I. My daughter is an Aspie, and I am proud.
I have learned so much on my journey with Kalli. I see the world differently. I am a kinder, gentler person. I will admit, I mourned the loss of my "normal daughter" when she was diagnosed. I don't know a single parent of an Autistic Child that hasn't. And let me tell you, it's not easy to be a parent of a child on the Spectrum. We get the dirty looks, hear the whispers, we're treated like our kids are just problem children and we just don't bother to parent them. It hurts, but I've learned to speak out and educate. A little awareness goes a long way.
I know that was long, and that's the short version. It's scattered since it's hard for me to write about what Kalli has been through without crying, and typing through tears is hard. Thanks for reading this far.
Kalli, my baby girl, my little Boo...I love you more than anything anywhere. You are my angel, my inspiration, my idol, my hero. You are the most amazing daughter, friend, sister, young lady. Without you, I am nothing. This month is for you, and every other child on the spectrum. Please share our cause.
Here is my first mani for 30 days of Blue for Autism Awareness. This is Revlon Colorstay Indigo Night, with my attempt at the Autism Awareness Ribbon on my ring finger. My nail art skills are way rusty! I also had a b**ch of a time photographing this color! My top coat is so shiny that the light just bounces off my nails, my light balance was being pesky, I managed to get oil on my lens and my focus was a pain too! Oh well, it was worth it to share this mani featuring this awesome TARDIS blue creme!
Gotta love my bad macros, right? ;) The multi-colored blobby thing on my ring finger is supposed to be my version of the Autism Awareness Ribbon. My nail is way to small to do a ribbon made of puzzle pieces, so I just blobbed on some irregular dots using Yellow, Red, Dark and Light Blue. It came out okay, and conveys what I wanted it to, but I am very rusty and need to work on my nail art!
On a different note, I LOVE this color! Nothing better than a gorgeous Sapphire Blue! However, I did not love the formula on this baby. This is from the new Revlon Colorstay line, and man! Was this one thick, thick, thick polish! Very difficult to spread over the nail, and semi-gloppy. I had a very hard time getting this to cover well on the first coat, despite being incredibly opaque. It did even out on the second coat, but was still so very thick. On the good side, the thickness of the polish made for less cleanup! Buuuut....this girl is a crazy stainer. The little cleanup I did have to do bled badly and stained like crazy. I had to clean off my brush in acetone after every single stroke and I made sure I had very little on the brush. It still bled! I am hoping the formula was just a bad bottle, since this color is gorgeous. A good top coat also levels out any imperfections. Of course, in the spirit of having a difficult day, my bottle of Seche thickened up badly and I was out of Restore! Yikes! Not my best mani ever, but the odds were against me. I actually just got back from a mad dash to Ulta to pick up some Restore so tonight's mani isn't as traumatic. ;)
Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy long post. And thank you to all of you that have helped to spread awareness today. It means the world to me and so many parents of kids on the Spectrum, as well as kids like Kalli. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. :)
Happy Polishing!
-Kimber
